A bit personal entry - giving out some motivation

EDIT: Some people told me that this really was pretty inspirational so, I'll do the monthly bump of this journal.

EDIT 2: Editing some things referent to dates.

Yeah, for first time on my whole time on dA I'll talk about some personal things. If you're not interested or you don't like these things, you can stop reading here and continue checking other DeviantWATCH messages.



Do you know what date is it? Yeah? It's 1st of october. This date is one of the most important dates for me actually. I'll focus mostly on art but, yeah, you'll be able to read about more details about my life.

Even if most of you see me as a happy and bright person, I must admit that it has not been like that for a very, very long time. Until 2013 I must say that I've been a deeply depressed person without any kind of motivation, including drawing, with a lot suicide thoughts, and HIGHLY scared of people, being touched or being talked to. Just focusing to art, not anymore.

"Why do you draw that? I drew like that when I was a child. That's sh**".

"Do you consider this art? Learn to draw. Even a child can do that better than you".

These were things that I heard a lot IRL. Not just on art - in most of things I did. I really liked to draw in a very simple, child-ish style (like you are able to see right now). Even with that I kept doodling and, from time to time, uploading some of these doodles (my old pokemon drawings). Same with the rest of my life though.

This one was like that until 2013 summer. I don't know why but, I really thought that I needed to change my life. My WHOLE life. I started entering to another school and, for first time in my life. I tried to be a pretty more optimistic. I forced myself to be more sociable and to think that things were able to change, that I had not lost my opportunity yet even if I had lost years of my life. Seriously, when I look back to this time and before I can't recognize myself anymore

What happens with 1st of october? Well, my classes started that day, with some more events. I stopping even watching the friends that I had. I really wanted to change how I was living. I really wanted to start to live for first time.

One of the ways which my life changed was when I met just on that date; even if she don't know about that, she has helped me to be much more self-confident that I was. Also she was the first person that put attention on my art and, in some way, the person who inspired me to draw again.

And here I am right now. Some more than a year later from my old life. This doesn't mean that I have not worries at all or something - I'm human and I have them (I have a rent to pay and I don't have a job, for example). I'm still afraid of being hurt again, afraid from most of the people and, even if it's pretty difficult for me to admit, to be alone.

What do I mean with this?

If you're not happy with your life, you're the only one who can change it. If you're don't like something, you're the only one who can change it. It doesn't matter if you have friends or not - at the end, you're the only one who can try (or not) to be happy.

Do what you enjoy. Stay with the people you love. Put your time on what you love even if people don't like it (always talking inside of law, of course xD). Do things the way you like. Enjoy them. And make people enjoy the too with the time.

This is a way to success on life - just learn to be happy. To change your life the way you can enjoy it, even if you fail, and try it again and again. Learn from the failure, keep marching.



"Why do you like the black star symbol so much?", asked me a friend a couple of years ago.
"Because it's like me. A star without shine, without reasons to fight, is a star without a meaning", I told her.
"But even a black star can learn to shine", she replied to me.